Novembar / November

November brought us a lot of new things, new numbers and fears, new hotspots and measures. Once upon a time, winter was associated with distant destinations, swimming in the sea during the holidays, although the waves do not smell like our Adriatic. Who separated us? November also brought us a delay in city lighting dedicated to Bulgarians and bears on Instagram photos. What kind of New Year’s bears are those, does anyone know? Are you a reindeer? You’ve gained weight. We are. During the spring lock, when the weather forecast was the most wonderful in the last hundred years, I gained a few kilos because I ate žu-žu for dinner. During the summer, nothing changed, although we were freer to walk. Autumn brought a black cloud and who is crazy to walk and breathe someone’s warmth. They say. I am slowly preparing for the glory when we will hide the guests like some kind of hideouts, in the absence of a wood stove, look for corners to play “hide and seek with the local police. Good evening, please come in, first of all grain and wine, it’s time. Come on in, I only have five of them, my mother-in-law doesn’t count, she’s inventory. What do you mean you don’t eat from the same spoon? Faith preaches about it. You are not a believer? Then you are not a Serb, let me tell you, and if you are not, I don’t know how you can be a policeman, is that by law? That dog is heard from the next room, what a sixth guest. Well, he drank a little, okay. So it’s okay now.

Speaking of “mečki, više volim beemvea” (Mečka - Mercedes Benz/ Beemve - BMW /BGD slang). How strange this car looks when written in Serbian. Congratulations to Gardoš cafeteria for the beautiful unusual decoration, but also on the move to take it off because of the unbearable crowd that gathered every day in the glory of photography. In honor of Instagram, where we take off the masks against the virus, but post others. Baam! The holidays are coming, the vaccine will be here soon. Astonished, I drank my iced mocha at one of the three outdoor tables of Cafeteria, which I normally recommend, watching a bleached mother who in ecstasy taught her seven-year-old daughter how to shoot properly and emphasize her breasts in the photos. I’m not exaggerating, it really happened. She was proud of her refined genes that she transmits and leaves to the world. When I said I recommend, I meant mocha.

I always think about when I last discovered something new in my own city, some dusty corner, a street where dresses no longer pass or strange smells. Do we live in a big enough city that can offer that opportunity to discover something new throughout your life? If the city was our character, there would be material for three more lives. We always walk the beaten path, because that is how we feel safest, and that security very often deprives us of our freedom. I miss playing sweaty under the open sky, with music and songs whose words the whole world knows but not me. Maybe these viral masks would stop me from embarrassing myself while saying a recipe for burek instead of love verses. November is something I don’t like. I know the colors are magical somewhere where there are trees. Unfortunately, they often kidnap those mentioned trees from our Belgrade lives, hey, Belgraders, concrete is not an association for the urban. I’m trying to explain. I don’t wash my car in November, and persistently close to midnight when I return home, I find the only parking space in the improvised parking lot in the deep mud of the plot ready for new construction. Where even your farting is heard. I’m farting here too, in those moments I regret the views that this city doesn’t need more concrete. Why am I not washing my car this month? Have you heard of the “no shave november” style? Well, that’s not the reason.

There are three hundred reasons why I don’t like this city, but I persistently caress it like a teddy bear thirty years ago. Hey, thirty years, how only Belgrade was built! I will not hide that I adore skyscrapers and look forward to every new one that sprouts. I don’t like shopping malls, those with rats or those with the best terraces. Where you’re taking pictures again, only to post on instagram, people. Imagine being hired to write about travel for our airline magazine for the December issue, the month during which we traveled the most in a world we easily forget.